I just moved to Japan with my husband and not even 7 days after I got here, he decides to get a hard headed fully grown pit bull who is shedding all over the place and he doesnt listen well. he gets on my nerves and I dont like being around him so i stay upstairs, we argue constantly about the dog and my husband keeps spending more and more and more money to make this muts life comfortable. how can I get my husband to get rid of the dog without hearing about it for the next 20 years. I know he wont let me forget. help me!
Answers:
I wouldn't put up with this. Your husband is supposed to love you and put your interests first - he sounds like a selfish kid who wants a new toy and stamps his feet until he gets it. I would wait until he's out, or away, and take the dog to the pound, if they have one in Japan. If the dog is microchipped, call the register and change the details to something fictional so they can't get in touch with you. Then act all innocent - oh dear, the dog escaped! Your husband did something very sneaky - so be sneaky right back at him!
Sounds like a compromise is in order. He should not have gotten the dog without discussing it with you, but that ship has sailed. Instead, how about a compromise where you both agree on a dog breed? That way he gets to have the canine companionship, and you get to have a dog that meets some of your requirements.
Try feeding him some Chinese dog food.
Why did he get this dog? Write a list of the problems you have with the dog. Practice the talk you will have with your husband and don't get emotional. Keep it reasonable. Ask him to listen to your concerns so that he knows what you are thinking and feeling.
Having a dog you are afraid of is a nightmare.
Unfortunately, your marriage is doomed. It's obvious you are not a dog lover, or you only like pure-bred yippy yappy lap dogs. It wasn't wise for your husband to get a dog without you're being a part of the decision making process. The only thing that's good about it is you can get a divorce now before there are children involved. There's a lot of things between the lines here; shedding, hard-headed, and doesn't listen well. It's a dog. Most dogs shed, and most are fairly hard headed at first, some more than others. If you loved, and I mean really loved your husband you would understand his attachment to the dog. If you liked dogs, you would learn to love the dog, too and you'd try to bond with someone who obviously means a lot to your husband. And, since he cares this much for the dog...enough to put up with arguing; maybe he's trying to find a soul-mate since he didn't find one in marriage. My wife and I don't agree on everything, but we do agree on our mutual love for dogs. I couldn't live with someone who couldn't love my dogs as much as I do.
Even though I am ex-military, even though I am a dog-lover, and even though I successfully kept the same dog my entire Air Force career...I've seen enough, of enough kinds of things, to have become very hard-core about the whole issue of military family life--pets included.
The Roman Legions did not allow a soldier to marry until he retired. Uncle Sam should be so wise. I do not believe active-duty military should have a family *or* a pet. The member needs to keep his or her mind on the job, and be ready to pick up and pull out at a moment's notice, and that's no kind of life for an animal or a sensitive spouse.
The armed forces have some of the highest rates of spouse and child abuse anywhere. Ever.
And every summer, when so many people get transferred to their next duty stations, the animal-control officials on the 'losing' installation must brace themselves for the inevitable: Pets abandoned, either left tied up in housing or dumped elsewhere on base, by servicemembers who "can't" (read: *won't*) take their animals with them.
I can only guess what wholesome lessons this teaches their kids. Responsibility? --Not. Lifetime commitment to a relationship? --Not. Empathy for another living thing? --Not.
You see where I'm going with this. Your husband possesses none of these characteristics. He is not fit to have a wife *or* a pet. You could hang in there for the two or three years it'll take 'til his next move, when he'll probably sell the dog to a sushi bar or something--then you'll be rid of it. Or you could take the hint and say to yourself, "Hey, this man just made a major change to our lives and our living environment *without even consulting me*, and is allowing it to go on even after he sees it's had a negative effect on me." Then come to your own conclusions.
Me, I'd take the dog (the pooch doesn't deserve to be in that situation either!), leave the man, and find a rescue program that'll foster the animal until they can find a *healthy* home environment for it. Go find one for you, too. And take some time to enjoy Japan while you're there. Good luck.
No, your marriage is not doomed but Bozopolis has got something there. He sounds like Dr. Laura Schlessinger! :)
a-Navy wife, you really need to stop throwing a tantrum. You're not a brat child. Any victory won in marriage by throwing a fit or manipulation is no victory at all.
Grow up and be completely devoted to your husband. He is not getting what he needs from you now. I can tell that just by what little you wrote.
Marriage is WORK. Any great marriage is hard won.
Get a trainer to teach you how to train your husband's dog and be happy he's not cheating on you.
OR...admit to your husband that you don't want to work with him even on minor issues like having a pet and let him be free of you before there are children brought into the equation. Sheesh.
Good luck.
Kick your husband out right now, or pack your bags. How DARE he make a major decision like that without even consulting you? This man obviously has no respect for you, your opinions or your comfort. He is a bigtime creep and you should tell him so before you walk out on him! Badmouth him to his commanding officers, then sue his backside off for whatever you can get out of him. He truly deserves it.
Lmao your marrige isnt doomed, But you really need to learn to love that dog becasue being a dog person myself once you get one you will never want to give it up, so i am guessing your hasband will not want to give it up either.
dog is mans best friend unfortunatley wifes are not!
He sheds and doesn't listen well. If those are the reasons why you want to "get rid of the dog" (I HATE THAT PHRASE) I would say those are some pretty pathetic reasons. You don't even want to give the dog a chance.
If I were your husband I would "get rid of" you.
It sounds like you haven't given the dog a chance. I realize it was a major decision to be made without you, but you could end up loving this dog, and it will be your companion when your husband is not around. Is it the fact that it is a Pit Bull that you don't like? Give it time, have your hubby keep it brushed to keep up with the shedding. The dog is being hard headed because it can sense you don't like him. Assert yourself as the Alpha role in the house and things will get better.
Well first off it sounds as if your being a spoiled whiney brat! Most dogs shed so that is something you should just get used to. Seems as if you are jealous of the dog because your husband is spending time and money on it and not you. You need to grow up already. I am sure this dog really wants nothing more than to please both of his new owners! Looks like this may not be your only problem. Your husband did not want to consult you on the idea of getting a dog because he knew you would act in such a childish manner about the subject.
You need to burry that hatchet you are carrying around about this dog. He did not come into your home with the intention of causing such fights between you and your husband. You need to partake in the training of this pet and open you mind and your heart to him. The reason he does not listen to you well is because you don't spend ANY time with him and he can tell that you don鈥檛 like him. If he was already full grown when he came to your family he might have trust issues and that is why he is not behaving for you. He might be scared that you will just get rid of him too. Believe me if you make your husband get rid of his new best friend he will resent you more than you resent this poor dog. That is not something I would want on my hands. So have an open mind and an open heart lady geez!
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