He told me he had cancer,I hoped for his getting better,I would try and walk Sadie over to his house,and stuff like that.I would always call to make sure he and his wife were home.Sometimes I would call about maybe 5 or 6 pm,its still daylight,and it wasn't too hot or anything like that.One day,he said,you can givce me a call,but not after 6 pm,why not after you get off of work?His youngest son comes over and gets his laundry done,which I don't mind,I find out that he comes just before 7pm,and visits his dad.Also sometimes when I call,they don't answer the phone,and when he has family over,I don't like to call to see if I can come over,so I don'tAny suggestions on how i can still go over and visit,without feeling like I'm intruding on them?Plus I know that Sadie would like to go and visit with them also,just like me.
Answers:
Respect his wishes. He's sick and not able to handle company all the time. His son is a different story since he is their son and does things for them. I have had several family members who have had cancer and there were times they just weren't up to having anyone in other than immediate family.
Next time you do go over, ask them if there is anything you can do to help them. Sadie might enjoy seeing them but they may not always be up to having her there so you need to check with them first and make sure he can handle it. When you do go to visit, don't stay too long as that will only wear him out faster and he probably doesn't have much energy as it is.
And don't call too often. If he is going through chemo and radiation, he may well have turned the phone off because he is so sick from it and the last thing he needs is someone calling all the time, even though your intentions are good.
God bless you for caring. Send him Thinking of You cards occasionally to let him know you haven't forgotten him.
sit down with your neighbors and figure out something. just get everything out in the open and find out when exactly you can come over or call. good luck!
Honestly I would respect their wishes and not go over there after the time he has told you not to go. It sounds like he still likes you as a friend but he just wants to spend quality one-on-one time with his family without any company. With experience with cancer in family members before, it is very hard times for the patient and the family. I would just be there for him when he needs you and give him his space when he needs it too. He will appreciate you for it.
'I can see that you are trying to be a good neighbor--and I'm sure your neighbor knows it. It seems that he is trying to let you know that he isn't up to seeing folks very much right now, without admitting that he doesn't feel very well. He is probably trying to save his energy to be with his family.
Call him at the time he asked you to and say "Are you up for a little bit of company or would another time be better?" If he says another time, simply say that you were thinking of him and close your conversation. When I was ill for a long period of time it was such an effort to try to be "up" for guests--but telephone visits were much easier--so I told my friends that, and they understood.
he may be tired after work and with cancer and all, just let him have some quite time and only go over 2 or 3 days a week
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